you would pick up someone in the library
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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