Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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