After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
