DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
