Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
