Too much gin, very little bucket
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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