I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
