HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
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Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
did i just pee glitter
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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