Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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