So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
