That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
