We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
