My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
