I wish I could teleport
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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