I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
