if you like me you must not know who I am
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
