Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
