I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Randomize
