I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
