I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
