I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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