love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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