yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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