do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
