It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
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The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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