Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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