what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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