I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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