you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
