the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
