WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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