Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
