Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have already put on my inside pants.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
