That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
