if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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