If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
