wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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