i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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