just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
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At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
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this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
ok first of all what the fuck
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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