I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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