Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
