Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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