Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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