the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
