So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
