The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
