just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
