I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
