Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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