dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize