I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
They are going to name an STD after you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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