Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
