Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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