Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
