Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I can't turn off my feet"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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