i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
