And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
