if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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