Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
