So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Too much gin, very little bucket
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
